the little balls of water are salty.

having to be my own legs, crutches and all makes my soul so tired sometimes.

but what is the point really. i'd love to have crutches.. but at the same time, they're debilitating. they slow me down, they stop me from going places, they make many paths inaccessible. it's another sacrifice i suppose.. i'm selfish that way.

this week feels like forever. and yet at the same time, it feels enriching again.

my body's exhausted, my mind's all quiet and my heart is heavy.

it's time to escape to dreamland to find my kim su han mu dream.

yet's on holiday and the house is so quiet.

the stillness and quiet in the house reminds me of the days in london (: but somehow it's too quiet.. i'm too used to the random chattering beneath my window, the cars zooming by, car alarms going off, drunken idiots brawling. haha.

and yet the best thing about going home to my flat.. was coming home to see the light on at the end of the corridor. haha. i never thought that the light seeping out from the bottom of the door could feel so warm

to be far is torture, but to be near is even greater torture, though interspersed with bursts of joy.

so what is a girl to do?

i want to be a nomad. the lights have grown dim. the air too heavy. i feel like i'm shaking a dead heart, trying to get it to feel again.

i like being uninvolved in places. being there, but yet not being part of it. i'm too involved here. and it bugs me. over there, when people piss me off, i can just brush it off as stupid behaviour of other people. here, its my people. and sometimes its just too much.

how fragile a life can be. how sudden we can go. and the pain, is not for those who leave too early, but those who are forced to say goodbye too soon.

seeing the boys react the way to do to my outbursts.. i wonder where the hell in this tiny island did i find my boys. who never once blinked at the things i said or the words i do.

hongkong was fabulous (: nice time with mummy. got totally pissed off by ugly singaporeans and rude as well chinese tourists upon arrival in singapore. the latter pushed me onto the luggage carousel. thanks very much -.-

angie and i are going to build a rainbow.

words cannot describe the happiness that soared through my heart feeling the plane rumble under my seat. i was born to travel. i can't bear to lose my wings again ):